Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
