i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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