Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
