Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
