Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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