I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize