We're like a lot better than the average bears
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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