U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize