I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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