So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
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The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
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Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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