i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
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i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
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I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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