my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
