In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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