i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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