Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
