Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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