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we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
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