I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.