I don't think brook has ever known best
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.