did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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