drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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