I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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