I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
