one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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