I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
