i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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