You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
