im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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