Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
