perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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