Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
