I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
