Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
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