shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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