It's like a parade of train wrecks.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
