I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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