we're blogging at a bar
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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