I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
