There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In the future we'll all be gay
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
