I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
