i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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