I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Can Purell be used as lube?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
