So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
