I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
