Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
