I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
