It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
