Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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