Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
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When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
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The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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