That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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