so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
