Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
