I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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