I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
