That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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