remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
