Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
