left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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