We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
