made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.