I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
