Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You can't special order awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): You can't special order awesome http://tfl.nu/116h
  Replies (14) Good night (3045) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  What did you even date her?

  (214): View more from Texas

  because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): What did you even date her? (214): because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed. http://tfl.nu/g42u
  Replies (38) Good night (5019) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy". http://tfl.nu/lu2f
  Replies (47) Good night (1476) Bad night (6545)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he even offered to make my bed in the morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): he even offered to make my bed in the morning. http://tfl.nu/d13v
  Replies (37) Good night (8345) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  ...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): ...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back. http://tfl.nu/m5i6
  Replies (6) Good night (1042) Bad night (3307)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up http://tfl.nu/esy3
  Replies (5) Good night (2796) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now http://tfl.nu/y52f
  Replies (2) Good night (1298) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle. (202): We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon http://tfl.nu/62rc
  Replies (6) Good night (1601) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions http://tfl.nu/aecl
  Replies (5) Good night (687) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid? http://tfl.nu/r78n
  Replies (3) Good night (552) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful. http://tfl.nu/s24n
  Replies (3) Good night (869) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.

  (256): View more from Alabama

  It's like 10 times better than an Oscar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award. (256): It's like 10 times better than an Oscar http://tfl.nu/pcc6
  Replies (7) Good night (696) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"

  (210): View more from Texas

  I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over" (210): I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback. http://tfl.nu/pi9n
  Replies (4) Good night (653) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere http://tfl.nu/2bjh
  Replies (3) Good night (175) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth http://tfl.nu/ugnh
  Replies (3) Good night (176) Bad night (347)

Randomize