somebody snuck up and got me drunk
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)