I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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