I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize