I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
