It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
