Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
