if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
