already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
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i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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