Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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