My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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