Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So squirting runs in the family.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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